If you are thinking about having sex with a person other than your partner, think again. You don’t need to do that. There is another way.
Two of my close friends found out that their significant others strayed in the last two months. It was devastating to their lives, relationship and self-esteem. It started me thinking about what I could do to keep my lover home.
People seem to think they need a little strange as they approach fifty. Our parents called it a mid-life crisis. This crisis affects both men and women as they approach their fifties.
There are two big things you can do to keep the zing in your relationship. You can change yourself, or you can change the environment. Seeking strange does not mean that your lover needs another person. You can make yourself into the new stuff.
These easily taken steps could make a huge difference.
Change Your Environment
The first change is to modify the places where you and your partner get it on. Most people use the bedroom of their home as an intimate room. This room needs to reflect the current state of your relationship.
Many people set up their bedroom and walk away, never to change it again. Life, however, continues. People change.
The bedroom that was sexy-sexy when you first got married at twenty looks too young once you are forty.
The quickest change that can be made is your bed. The technology of the beds of today differs from yesterday. Ask yourself this question. What personal electronic device do I still own that is twenty years old? The answer is most likely nothing.
Mattresses are manufactured using many materials from bamboo to body foam. Beds articulate, vibrate, shake, turn warm and cool. They come in every size and shape.
Changing the lighting is the second change that could have a significant effect. Old style lighting can be harsh in a bedroom. Changing the lighting will enhance the mood. Changing the mood will change excitement. Anything could happen.
The combination of a bed change and a lighting change can transport a couple to another place removing lingering passivity.
The second thing that can be altered before a lover cheats is yourself.
How you behave, your physical appearance and your attitude are under your direct control. You can transform them.
I changed how I spoke with my spouse. We had gotten into the habit of coming in and dumping all the negativity from our jobs at our dinner table. This conversation put a dark negative cloud over every dinner. It extinguished any potential sparks that could light up the evening.
Instead, I found the activities that are going well in our life together and emphasize them. The positivity changed the tone of our evenings which changed the tone of our nights. Once I changed my conversation and deflected the negativity, my spouse joined me in my quest for a pleasant dinner.
I decided that I needed to update my physical appearance. I liked how I looked so I wanted to see if I could add a new night look by changing my hair and make-up.
I went to the Sephora counter in my full make-up on and told the sales lady I wanted a natural bedtime look that used minimal make-up. Normally I wear nothing but face cream at night. I was looking for something to wear on special nights.
After stripping off my work off my face, we played with the products until we found clear lip plumper and deep plum eyeliner combination that made me look sultry. I required no foundation, mascara, or other items to make this look work.
The second visit was to my hairdresser. I told her I wanted an attractive sleep hairstyle. We brushed my hair into a ponytail then wrapped a cheap fake braid around my head to give me the mother earth look. It took less than two minutes to wrap and pin the braid. Excellent!
Last, I lost a few pounds. I went on the Keto diet and have lost eleven pounds. (Hey, eleven pounds is eleven pounds.)
The changes I made presented me as a proactive spouse. Our marriage is better because of the efforts I have made. Yes, I was the one that made the extra efforts, but I was worried about the lovers leaving relationships around me.
Getting a little “strange” at home is thrilling and exciting. Try it.
My books are available on Amazon.
Toni Crowe be reached at https://www.tonicrowewriter.com/
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