Dark Tales
During a 10 year study, researchers found that cat owners showed a 30% lower risk of death from a heart attack compared to non-cat owners.
I was asleep when something heavy sat on my chest then lightly patted me in the face. When I didn’t respond, I got another pat. I opened one eye.
I was surprised to see my cat, Dark, leaning down and looking me in the eye. He patted me yet again with his right paw. Dark rarely sits or lays on me unless I’m in the restroom. His face was so close to mine that his cat lips almost touched my lips.
‘I’ll take my trout now,” Dark said.
“Cats don’t talk.”
I’m not talking. This is all in your mind.
I woke up with a startle but did not sit up.
I asked, “Is this weight on my chest in my mind too?”
Hoo..man. I want a live trout.
Dark turned-in a circle then started kneading my chest.
“Why do you think I owe you a trout?”
Didn’t you read the article published by House Beautiful that a recent study showed that sleeping with your cat extends your life?
“The University of Minnesota’s Stroke Institute in Minneapolis conducted a 10 year-long study…— and brought to our attention via PureWow — documenting the health of 4,435 Americans between the ages of 30 and 75. Exactly 2,435 of the participants were current or former cat owners, and the remaining 2,000 participants studied had never owned a cat at all.
Over the 10 year period, researchers found that cat owners showed a 30% lower risk of death from heart attack compared to non cat owners — so if you currently don’t own your own fluffball, now might be the time to get one!”
“I did.”
So where is my trout and not that wet cat food. I want to take the trout under the bed and watch it wriggle, and play with it, and bite it. You can play, too.
“No trout under the bed.”
If you don’t give me a trout, I will not sleep with you. You will die.
“I will die anyway. No trout.”
Dark stopped kneading. He tilted his head. His green eyes shone.
Shrimp?
“No, get off my chest or lay down.”
I gave Dark a slow, blinky kiss. He did not blink back.
He got off my chest, jumped down, and strode away with his tail held high.
Die, then.
I sighed. Cats…
I glanced over to see my husbands’ cat, Tall, hop onto the bed and walk unto his chest. I turned over and pretended to be asleep. I’m not a part of their conversation.
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