Today I’m in a difficult mood. I still miss my dog, Reno, after three years. Reno was a Shi Tizu. He was beautiful, stubborn, manipulative and loving. He made me laugh all the time with his antics. No matter what time of day or night that I came home, he was at the door to meet me, his tongue hanging out because he was so happy to see me that he had run back in forth in front of the door in a frenzy.
I am feeling his loss deeply this week because I was successful at publishing my book, Never $7 Whore, on Amazon. I managed to publish both the e-book on Kindle and get the paperback completed on schedule. It felt fantastic. it was one of my best days.
Reno was with me during all my best days for 16 years. I would have a big success, go out for a nice dinner with my husband to celebrate. When I returned home I would bring a hamburger for my dog and celebrate with him. This is the first significant success I have had without him. I miss him.
I miss the long walks we would take. I miss him sitting on my feet as if they were not there. I miss feeding him and watching him eat the food appreciably, every now and then looking up at me happily. I miss his stubbornness as I tried to each him a new trick. Reno was the type of dog you had to show who was the leader. Since he was smart, he would work to manipulate you into doing what he wanted. He was so cute that it was easy to forget that you were being manipulated. I miss watching him look out the front window as if he was the protector of our home. Anyone walking up to the door got shown who was in charge. I miss Reno sitting on my lap as I performed some mundane task, his trusting eyes looking up at me as I absentmindedly rubbed his belly. Reno was MY boy. My boy forever.
I sit here with tears in my eyes. It has been three years. I should have gotten over his by now death. I have not. I still wake up in the early mornings to walk the dog. Sometimes Ill get up from my bed before I realize I no longer have Reno
I still miss my dog.
Originally published at www.tonicrowewriter.com on August 11, 2018.