Sometimes You’ve Got to Say “WTF. I Love You. No.”

Photo by Jamie Haughton on Unsplash

Don’t be sucked into other peoples ridiculous schemes by being too polite to say “no.” I call it a WIN (WTF. I love you. No.) when future dissatisfaction with my decisions around my family and friends is prevented.

I have managed to set up a comfortable life for myself as a full-time writer. Writing is my second career. My first career was as a big company executive. It is assumed I have plenty of both money and time.

As a result, I’m asked to “help out” others which I will sometimes do.

Other times I say “ WTF. I love you but no. I will not assist you at this time under these circumstances.”

My Ten Best WINs

1. You meet a nice guy through an online dating service. After a few dates, he needs to borrow $2,500 until he gets paid. Hey, Payday Loan is around the corner. WIN.

2. Your nephew is starting a business. There is no business plan (or any other written documents) that anyone can show you. All he needs is 10,000 dollars. Duh, no. WIN.

3. Your Tinder date wants to screw you in the men’s room because you are just “so damn sexy.” He claims he will make you holler. You suspect you’ll be in a pee-stained stall for 30 seconds smelling poo with your panties around your ankles. No nookie for him that night or any other night. WIN.

4. Your friend needs you to co-sign for their new car loan. I hope their old car is still running. WIN.

5. Your niece wants you to finance her college loan. You never heard her, nor her parents ever discuss any advanced schooling until they asked you for money. Also, the child is dumb as a sack of hammers. No, try the community college; I hear they have great programs. WIN.

image by Tookapic- on Pexels

6. You and a friend are taking a cross-country car trip. They ask you to let them put their guns in your car. Just say no. WIN.

7. A friend hands you their carry-on luggage and heads to the airport restroom. They say they will meet you on the plane. Nada, no you won’t meet ME on the plane holding this bag. I’m sure someone will turn it in at the counter after our flight leaves. WIN.

8. A relative who was out of the country calls and asks you to pick up a special package at the post office. They say it will clear customs in the next few days. Nope, pick up service is not in today (or any day for that matter). I will get that package from the Post Office, let me see… never. WIN.

9. A policeman who stops you for no reason asks if he can search your car. No, you do not have my permission to search my car. WIN.

10. Your friend asks you to have sex with them and their partner. Nope: no ménage a trois, no 2-way or 1-way is going down. WIN.

Do you have any “WIN” situations you would like to share?


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